top of page


Conscious of Consciousness - An essay
The Reductively Irreducible Consciousness is merely an ‘effect’ to which the cause is the state of us being or existing. When measured against time or duration and computed accordingly, it presents itself to us as an extended, all consuming, incalculable state of ‘non matter’; but still limited to and within our subjective experience. The primary instinct of our species before even we will in ourselves that we need power is a will to understand what we experience. To observe,
ab ja na
Jan 1635 min read


Let's slip into a thousand little deaths at once
This world shall cease to exist, let's collide and implode into supernovas Don’t say anything. Don’t. I know that we are saying things in our head to each other. But I see the end of all of those words. I see the end of all of those sentences. It ends. So don’t even start. The words are erupting out of me and even if I let it free, out of me, what then? I will wear what I want to tell you in words you are never used to. They will stick on to you in ways that would make you fe
ab ja na
Jan 163 min read


tendencies logged at 1 am
pH levels high do i tell you of my stinger first, the typical, the tail, so you won’t exclaim, or maybe you still would, just differently, but unlike you, i won’t wail, even if i absolutely should and could. but i got twins on moon and another stinger on merc too so it’s all or nothing, even some something is all everything so why won’t you try as hard as i do to tell me over and over that what you say is true, you like all of me, even if i seem to be a few too many on some d
ab ja na
Dec 11, 20252 min read


twelve nine twenty five
bits and pieces, no dips and sauces i do not drape nor skin anything i birth these days, nor do i wait for north stars or high priestesses or common men to come from far away to eat it. but when they come i will have their fickle bones and shallow souls tethered and i will skin them to feed my young ones and old ones alike i saw a man in love, i saw a women adored by many, she amused them all, she had use of the adulation she received. then i looked at all of them again and i
ab ja na
Dec 9, 20251 min read


now
looks like they splashed green, splashed purple, scribbled over it, then they splashed yellow and splashed red. it was given a name, it lugged a prick, it wore a tit but i have no clue what it was they bred i am feeling imprisoned to call it all - lit. a day has passed and then a month and then an year, batteries had died and was replaced, light bulbs have died too but i have not replaced all, their holders need to be replaced too. there is mold all over, i have folded myself
ab ja na
Dec 8, 20251 min read


Dr. Manhattan felt lonely on earth so he chose to be alone on Mars
Sisyphus may be happy but he is exhausted and alone. But I hope he gets to eat okay and well and sleep as much as he wants. Every second orange I peel is stale. It makes me wonder if I really did need a second one. The first one was stale too but I peeled it, opened it up. I could smell where on it was bad so I hoped the parts where it smelled okay was okay. But no. I could taste how it had spread. However, like I said, I had already peeled it. So I ate it. I hoped the second
ab ja na
Dec 4, 20253 min read
bottom of page