Let's slip into a thousand little deaths at once

This world shall cease to exist, let's collide and implode into supernovas

Don’t say anything. Don’t.

I know that we are saying things in our head to each other. But I see the end of all of those words. I see the end of all of those sentences. It ends. So don’t even start.

The words are erupting out of me and even if I let it free, out of me, what then?

I will wear what I want to tell you in words you are never used to. They will stick on to you in ways that would make you feel like, the only way to get rid of it is to scrape your skin off. When you try to do that I will say more and I will say vehemently all the things I want to, so much so that it will become your skin. You might try to compete with me but I will drape you in a reflection of you that will consume you for eternity. You will feel no more a need to exist, for you will know you are all. I will lay you in the clouds and let you float.

So, no, I won’t say anything and I won’t let you either. I will confuse your prancing heart into a numbness that will make this idea of us seem like a reverie killed and buried by the next minute and its emptiness.

I want to touch you just as much as you do but don’t.

I am half past drenched in the monsoon rains I know will happen if we held hands. I can feel the surge and I can smell how damp you become. But then what? I can see the end of it and even dying into it may not fill us how we want to be filled so, maybe, don’t?

I want to slave for your desires and I want to be eaten alive by every animal that you are, a thousand times over. I want to be so high that we don’t feel our bodies separately ever again. I want to fuse into you yet feel you all over me.

But it won’t go farther in and deeper. It would stop. So maybe don’t.

But I do too. I want to absorb you and exude you and absorb you again. Once yes but then that ‘once’ should be eternity and defy all laws of time and space. Or I want to merge our skinned souls while our bodies write ciphers of music in friction for a forever that will be as fleeting as an entire lifetime is. I want you to be last thing every sense of mine imbibed. Your smell, your taste, your skin, your scars.

But it won’t end the way I want, yet it would end. So don’t.

But defy me. Invade me.

Make me crave you. Carve me up and make me all you want.

No.

You will never hear me say any of this. I will pretend to have not heard how much you need all this. So you will see me meet your eyes, you will see me look into your soul and you will feel my tongue take a lifetime to make every inch of you blush. But you will not be sure. I will be but I will allow myself to slip away and let my words and letters conjure it all. Then I will hide them away.

Unless…