tendencies logged at 1 am

pH levels high

do i tell you of my stinger first, the typical, the tail,

so you won’t exclaim, or maybe you still would,

just differently, but unlike you, i won’t wail,

even if i absolutely should and could.

but i got twins on moon and another stinger on merc too

so it’s all or nothing, even some something is all everything

so why won’t you try as hard as i do to tell me over and over

that what you say is true, you like all of me,

even if i seem to be a few too many on some days

how come you do not know what i want

but i know what you want more than you do

and so much so that i forget what i want.

it’s daunting but i still keep up.

i can love you so very much that i could absolutely free you

maybe you never knew that of stingers but now you do

free me and i will still build a cage for you and lock myself in it for you

you’d take that but why would you forget to throw me a simple cookie sometimes

of course you could do without me,

build your stories and lies and live in the glass houses of it,

but you will never be seen the way i saw you

maybe that’s why you shit on me that much when i am not around

so you can disown the true you that i came to learn and love, sure.

you hum a tune and i become deaf to all the songs of the world

but i sing a song and you say nice and then drool

all over every hole a celebrity makes sound through,

what the fuck is wrong with you? are you really so basic?

oh wait, what the fuck is wrong with me !

you cry about a stain and i cook all things innocent, pristine

and i eat them away for you, you forget stain exists, you forget how to spell it

but then you see one scar on me and you judge me for it,

you get tired of me about it, why is that?

oh wait, that’s probably me too.

you say you would rather choose honesty and then I give you all the truth skinned

and then you wallow in pain and say it is too much

you say you are honest and all you say is what you don’t like,

but you know i take that too - raw and in flesh

i would lie to myself for you, so loud and so often and so much

that the lie becomes my grandest truth.

i tether into the fabrics of every reality to weave into it

the one that you desire, your fantasy with all things fantaisical

but when convenient you turn around all righteous and call me deluded

ah but it’s me,

i wear all beings out

i wear the scars of wearing the skins

of all who i wore down

that’s too much said.

like i always quote

don’t ever tell anybody anything

they are all just here for themselves

to friend, to foes, to blood

selfless isn’t the way to self.