How we are wired

Do you think this text provides you with enough information to do a pseudo psycho analysis on me?

I mean I can see you wanting to do it or doing it already. We cannot help our need to understand if not judge and label what is presented in front of us. I agree that it is only natural, our need to judge things and people. I just wish it is followed by a choice to be accepting the one you judged and finding a way to be kind or to just leave them be. But no, we have to fix it, we have to fix all of it, we have to fix them and that is the only way we seem to be able to give ourselves that sense of satisfaction with ourselves.

I am often told by people that they cannot identify art and cannot relate to something I might have done. This makes me think about how we are wired. I don’t mean just in terms of people who can appreciate art or people who cannot. The heightened sentience that human beings possess seem to suggest that we are art ourselves. So I do not necessarily dwell on my thoughts so much on people’s inability to receive art. I just think everyone has their own way around it and what makes each person feel deeply is unique.

What I mean when I said I thought about how we are wired is the observation that we strive on going against ideas and understandings than about agreement. My observation, as irrelevant or insufficient it may be, points towards a growth in people choosing to have their own obstinate conclusions and understanding about anything and everything and holding onto it and defending it even when it is most incorrect. I see people feeling like they have always been buried and all they want to do is just burst out and be seen and have an impact. But in reality everyone is just bursting out and no one is really buried under like the way it was before the growth of social media. Is it just social media though? Was the human need always to be noticed, to get attention from other humans, to entertain and to be entertained? I have literally had people tell me they want to be remembered, they want to make an impression that would last for long after they are gone.

There is this craziness. We want people, to do things for people and to be remembered and noticed by people and we do that by not wanting some people and doing things to such people and remembering them in all kinds of ill will. We are so funny.

What are we most deprived of as human beings? Entertainment? Like we just want to be able to feel things, we want to laugh, we want to even cry occasionally, we want music to help our bodies sway without all the uptight upkeep being we work so hard to keep up and running. We want to slip and be raw. We want to escape our own efforts to control what adventures our sentient self teases and compels us to undertake. We are really wonderful creatures. We deny ourselves very quick in the name of common and collective good. Then we rebel against ourselves and the training we receive to practice that denial in the name of common good and collective welfare. Then we take sides and fight about it. All the while every party is entertained but I cannot say that without offending most of everyone. However that is the truth. I have found myself in midst of all of it and outside of it. It’s the same. I am a mad man inside when I am fighting, I am a weird cuckoo if I am outside and exclaim at the absolute hullabaloo that’s going on.

After all that’s what I am engaged in too. In search for art to flow out of me so I can entertain and art to flow into me so I can be entertained. Tell me I am not your reflection so I can feel unique and you can feel special. Tell me I am your reflection and I will say you are mine and we just might be a little closer to a truth we never really get close to.

I am picturing this interview on a late night show or early morning I don’t really care where this important person(how important can a person really become and who is he important to) is just going on this absolutely belligerent tirade about what an idiot I am because I told in my book that all humans seem to always want is entertainment. He then talks about advancement in science and being able to help other people and preserve nature and all the wonderful things humanity has evolved to accomplish over time. How I minimized it so foolishly as entertainment. His speech is so verbose and pretty that he is giving out these intellectual vibes and everyone watching it is so enticed by it. In fact, the producer gives a thumbs up and wow to the talk show host and this guest who still is going on and on with the rant, revels in the pride, almost so much he makes the most bit of effort to not be entertained by the entertainment he is putting on and receiving in return.

He claims later as he gains popularity “I am sorry to say but this book is poison, it is going to incite anarchy.” He then sets up his own YouTube channel and it gets million views and he gets money to buy the things he wants to entertain and keep himself sane which is what everyone always wanted.

I must be real ambitious to think my book could do that right, I mean it could very well never be read too. I know. But I am just going to be ambitious and believe that will happen because I am not really finding myself completely entertained by where I am in my life and what I have. In fact it’s not enabling methods and practices I could adopt to just the shut up and meditate so I am going to go ballistic with ambition, alright?