about human children

do you want babies?

This is not a righteous tirade about the morbid climate of the world and the sin it is to bring an infantile life into such troubling times. This is not a soothing, reminiscing spell to remind you how beautiful childhood is and how it is the purpose of a human life to rear them and bear them so much so that one day they will do the same. Granted, those are what this is not, what this is my admission that I cannot find a sincere narrative or expression that validates procreation. I will stay bound by human experience for this inquiry because if I zoom out for the singular nature of all being then there is no reason to evaluate this and much less anything.

Okay so why babies?

Narrative 1 - I am noble. I am a good person. I am making a change to this world with the things I do and I want it to be continued, I want the legacy to remain.

Shit. That has so many holes to it that prevents it from being any form of accurate, truthful or educated an observation, so much so that, I could use it to replace my blocked, ‘should dispose without second thought’ strainer I use for my tea. The holes, almost all of them have been central to the themes I have written about in here and think about all the time.

So this narrative is what I politely, gently, caressingly bark at but I am too tired so I will take leave.

Narrative 2 - It’s just normal life. I will know one day - the joy and pain of it all and it will be worth it in the end.

Funny. I could posit several observations but as I am writing this and imagining someone saying this to me (which in fact has happened so many times already) I see myself nodding and not wanting to say anything. It is defeat, it is pain, it is romantic, it is beautiful, it is dismissive, it could be sincere and it could be pretentious. So…

nods and mmms…

Narrative 3 - All beings are a singular unit and there is no procreation, it is all but a continuation which in fact in itself is only a comprehensive measure that uses time as an existent entity irrespective of human experience.

If that’s complex and you do not enjoy it, you can read it as ‘it is what it is.’ But yeah I agree with this one but I do think why this should be a reason to make a baby. The human experience of it is expansive and relentless in its nature of being so present and occupying. Ideally we should say no to initiating it.

ah, it is what it is. so it just happens and well we cope.

Narrative 4 - Sex, broken condoms, ineffective birth control, impracticality of pulling out, life, need for control and posession

Yeah very real. I am not against sex although I can only understand intellectual, emotional, experientially connecting sex.

okay so yeah, it happened. well a genuine narrative.

The way I started this off does not seem to be how I feel right now. Felt like I played mental chess against 4 different versions of myself and I am out of answers. I suddenly forgot wife beating dads making different mutant variants of themselves in the children and manipulative, survival oriented or fucked up moms making kids their weapons which sometimes fire all kinds of wrong ways. Kids with guns, kids who can’t be normal, kids in pain, kids growing up to becoming so strange. Parents who refuse to get better.

Shit I am back where I started but I can’t go on. My head will explode. Maybe I should collect myself and sit down again. But I should not, must not procreate. The human experience need to be checked. It needs to be regulated. It needs to be minimized. It needs to be singular and in synchrony.

shrugging before i abandon you with that.