404 - Seek and you may not find - but what if seeking is for a will to seek

Right now I really want a solution to 'error not found' state I am in - not the solution to the error, no I do not want that. I want that error, I want to find it.

This is such an interesting "space in thoughts and time" that I find myself in. I am looking for an error but the epiphany continues to be a meta. It is intervening into every attempt to dismantle what I have founded to create something anew - a process the human existence promises to both the fittest, weakest, best and worst.

If the ultimate truth is the lack of it and if that in turn nullifies the entire pursuit towards finding it then what else is there. A friend who agreed to engage in this discourse with me also asked me recently the same question. Why be? The answer obviouly and famously is that we lack the capacity for suicide. However the problem again is according to the truth it does not matter either. Death, Life, Coma, Photosynthesis, Evaporation, Amber formation.,, see.

At the limits of human understanding and the patterns recognizable with language what are questions that remain to us as humans?

Is it merely survival? Not because life is a battle or that things are hard but because it does not need an explanation. It does not need understanding from humans. Nothing needs human comprehension to exist. It is not like after we understand everything we created better. We just made false representations and worshipped it. So why is this incessant race to reduce everything into our comprehension the only way of life. The question nor the answer is in the context of animal life or a non sentient life being better. But it is about the possibility of venturing without being led by sensory demands. But we are incapable of and there is nothing outside of understanding that can in any way be understood or represented with language.

So now what?

"The will to will."

Philosophically, it is assumed that will is constant, only what it is oriented towards stands out as something that needs to be figured out. But understanding and finding the truth is about that very "will to please" being a fabrication itself. We are willed to just be and not even be worded or deciphered.

Having accepted this truth I clearly do not see the error I want so I can carry on in my human life to create the fiction that most connects and maps out my sentient data and computational capacities.

But without an error, with the lack of duality to draw and allow me to shuffle and shuttle voraciously between either how do I will myself to will.

How do I will myself to will?

I am so right it feels wrong, which makes sense because it is both the same thing?

How do I 'be' now?